Night out with Lydia Chlamydia,
Things start to spiral down.
In town with Lydia Chlamydia,
Give us all the runaround.
She wants to hide from things,
That remind her of wedding rings,
And being somewhere,
She doesn't want to be.
So she'll drink ten pints of lager,
The alcoholic balaclava,
Lydia doesn't know when to stop.
Ten past two with Lydia Chlamydia,
Watch the curtain start to fall.
She wants to go on somewhere new,
With a bouncer that she's met called Paul.
Her life is complicated,
Nothing drab or understated,
Everything's lit up like a Christmas tree.
She wants to carry on,
Way past the time when we've all gone,
Even Paul has got his taxi home.
She has her admirers,
Scaffolders and hair stylists,
Lydia isn't always home alone.
They wait in their homes,
Their thumbs poised,
On their mobile phones,
Waiting for a call from Lydia.
She's full of surprises,
Some of them in different sizes,
Some of them come late at night.
She has her admirers,
Scaffolders and hair stylists,
Lydia isn't always home alone.
They wait in their homes,
Their thumbs poised
On their mobile phones,
Waiting for a call from Lydia.